*We've passed 20 days. I really didn't think I could do it. But I have. And I want to continue. I find myself looking during the day for something to include in the list now. Its changed the way I open my eyes. Nothing is all rainbows and sunshine, but it feels good to be watching for the good rather than dreading the bad all the time.... I guess that's thankfulness #1 today. That I have come this far, seen some change, and want to keep going.
*Gavin had a dentist appt today. Two small cavities. I'm not surprised. I know I have not been the best teacher regarding oral hygiene. I also know when i am depressed, it is the first thing to go, and I'm sure some of that has rubbed off. But in the past I would have blamed myself. Said I was a bad mom. That I wasn't doing my job. That it was more my fault than his. Not this time. He doesn't take the time, and now he has to experience the consequences. That's the way life is. I can't do everything for him. I'm not blaming myself, carrying all of the burden. And I'm thankful I am able now to do that.
*I was asked to write a summary for my psychologist of where I was when I started seeing her and where I am today. I am so, so, so thankful that I am not where I was. That things have become better. Writing it opened my eyes. It showed me that things are not perfect yet. They may, actually, be worse than I think. At leas that's the way I felt. But at the same time, what I was writing for the "then" sounded awful. It was awful. I know better than anyone else. And I survived it. I am surviving it. I am, and will be, forever thankful for that.
*I had to get a Police Record Check for an upcoming school field trip. I'm thankful that the process didn't take all day. And that it came back clean, no complications, no one with the same name, no reason for finger prints. In, out, and off to the zoo.
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